Reality

     I have to face the reality that my body is perishing and not meant to last forever.  Sure I can do things to improve my health and well being, and I am a strong advocate of doing so.  However the experiences over the last week forced me reflect on a few sobering truths.  I got hit hard with a nasty sickness.  I  had so much to accomplish on my to do list and while my mind was telling me to forge ahead, my body was screaming the opposite.  I would love to tell you that I exercised wisdom and sat and rested but I can't even begin to tell that lie.  I fought like crazy to defy my reality.  I was soooo frustrated.  It so hard having an agenda and not being able to accomplish it.  Ever been there?

     I began to really think about the end.  Not in a depressing way, but a lets really evaluate things here kind of way.  We are each given an allotted amount of time here on earth and it's so easy to have misguided focus.  We act as if we are immortal and always assume we will have more time.  We assume we will always be as strong as we were yesterday.  We pursue our agenda without noticing that the clock is ticking and one day it is certain to stop.  They say that there are two things that are certain, death and taxes.   Hebrews 9:27 tells us of something else that's certain after death...the judgement.  When I stand before God, what will he think of how I used the time he gave me?  What will he have to say concerning my priorities, did they line up with his?  And my life, my heart, did it belong to him?

     I am feeling better today but I have more of a resolve to build up my spirit, focus on God's agenda because my end is one day closer.  As I put him first, I don't have to dread that day but I can look forward to it with great joy!

Forward

You are taking me to a place I've never been before
But I dont have to fear, I don't have to fear
I. DONT. HAVE. TO. FEAR.
I must remind myself because the temptation is there
I can be confident because you have proven that you are on my side
As you lead Jesus, teach me to follow with a surrendered heart
Even when I don't understand
Even when it means giving of myself beyond what I think is possible
Even when what you are telling me is contrary to what I want or what I think is best
Help me to have a joyful yes

There is absolutely no turning back for me
As I have put my hand to the plow, by your grace I refuse to look back
Look back to death
Look back to shame
Look back to pride
Look back to my agenda
Look back to people pleasing

You are taking me somewhere
I know
I don't know how the pieces of the puzzle are going to come together
But I give you the pieces and trust you know how
I don't know how you will word my mouth
But I will speak at your command
I hear what you are saying and if I think too hard, I become overwhelmed
Teach me not to reason but to rest
I keep my eyes on you as  you take me FORWARD!