I am an addict! It is
really difficult for me to get through the day without this thing. I really cant function and my days seem to
fall apart without it. I must confess
that I am addicted to prayer. Not
because I am super spiritual but because I am human with many frailties. Prayer is my fix. I really am a hot mess without it (ask my
husband and children). There is just
something about throwing myself at the feet of Jesus, telling him all my
unedited thoughts. In prayer I don’t have
to tell him what I think he wants to hear.
I tell him what I am really feeling, the good the bad and the ugly. Then I take him up on his word and ask him to
fix me, fix the mess, the pain and the hurt.
There are times when I just sit and cry but I am fully convinced that he
understands the meaning of each tear. And
while the cause of my pain may not immediately go away, just being in his
presence crying like a baby gives me a peace beyond my understanding. I leave with a confidence that it is going to
be alright. I may not know how it will work out, but our time together reminds
me that it will and all for my good.
Then there are those times I run to prayer begging the Lord to tell me that I am not
crazy for standing in faith even though I feel bullied by doubt and all his
buddies. The times where the comments of
others cause me to question if I am being too extreme, taking this faith thing a
little too far. Ever been there? The times where I need to have the Lord comfort
me and remind me that walking by faith will seem foolish to the world but it
pleases him, and in the end that’s all that matters.
I also have times of carrying the burdens of those I love, rolling
over in my head how to fix them and their situation. At times the burden leaves me paralyzed because I want
to make it all better . Then I am reminded that while I have no power
to fix anything or anyone, I can pray. I
become even more confident when I remember that God hears my prayer and is able to change any situation,
no matter how hopeless. So I come to God
on their behalf and do what I should
have done in the first place…PRAY!
Then there are times where praise and adoration flow from my
lips and I am overwhelmed with thanksgiving.
The more I rehearse his goodness, the more I become aware of how awesome
he is and I don’t want the moment to stop. I look for the pause button in these
moments of sweet communion, hoping the phone wont ring and the children will
remain asleep. But inevitably these
moments of prayer have to come to an end, but the residue of praise remains.
Yes I am addicted. I
am not looking for a cure, just for more!
1 Thessalonians 5:17:
NEVER STOP PRAYING
