Me

I am a very expressive person.  I love people.  I love to talk.  I love to share the new things I am learning and when I share I love to share with a childlike enthusiasm that may annoy some.  I love to get to the "feelings" part of every story.  I share my feelings and when I am done, I want to hear your feelings as well... and when we are done sharing, I love to have a , " so what does this all mean and how does this all connect party."  No kidding its true, ask my non-talkative husband.  Along  the way, I tried being someone else.  I tried to contain what God had given me to share.  I tried being more " mature" in the way I expressed myself.  Who God had made me to be was getting lost along with the gifts that came with my personality.  I got discouraged and even doubted God using me on a grander scale, I was slowly shutting down.  The noise in my ear sounded something like this, " yes you blog but you dont write as well as the other bloggers out there. Yes you have ideas that you think are creative but others will see them as being juvenile, and whatever it is you are saying has been said by others but even better. "  Insecurities, doubts, and past hurts can be big bullies if you entertain them.

I just got off the phone with a really good friend (we all need one)and she encouraged me from such a sincere heart.  I hung up the phone feeling refreshed and ready to unleash what I know the Lord has put in me without reservations.  Help me Lord to not be hung up on feedback from others, help me to be faithful to dispense what you have put it me.  Help me to use every gift you have put in me for your glory, and not for the approval of man! And let the church say AMEN!!!!

Avoiding God

Ever been there, disappointed so then you come up with the clever idea to avoid God?
I found myself being really busy.  Being busy is not a difficult thing for me, because there is always something to do.  However I must recognize that just because there is always something to do doesn't mean I have to get it done right away or that I always have to be the person for the job. I have mastered the act of conveniently making myself busy when I just don't want to deal with the issue at hand.  Sometimes the issue is just too painful and requires too much self inspection so I avoid Him.  This is not to say I don't pray or acknowledge God but my prayers remain at the surface.  I choose not to quiet my spirit long enough to not only tell God all, but to be still to also hear His response.  I pour out  my heart and "run" before God can address me.  It is  easy to justify thoughts and feelings when these thoughts are not being challenged.  But to grow, I must be challenged.  So here I am this morning God, not only to cast my burdens on you, but I  am also choosing to be still to hear your response.  Your response that brings loving correction. Your response that is more interested in fixing me over the issue at hand.  Your response that  brings the the right perspective and peace.  Truth is, when I avoid God's response, I miss out on great blessings.